After a miserable week of holding our ISP together through wishful thinking and lots of caffine, I thought that I would try to dramatize what it's like to be riding the bleeding edge of technology. Maybe during my most bitter moments, I was hoping that those from Ascend who promise fixes "really soon" will realize that "tomorrow" is as good as never to those of us on the front lines. Data: Captain, I am detecting a Borg cube on long range scanners. Picard: Red Alert! Bridge to Engineering... La Forge: La Forge here. Picard: Do we have operational ISDN yet? La Forge: Yes, sir, it is operational, but I estimate a 5% chance that ISDN will be rejected when we try to implement it. Picard: What do you mean? La Forge: There seems to be a bug in our current operational code that causes compelete rejection of ISDN at random intervals for random lengths of time. Picard: Do you mean to tell me that I can not rely upon ISDN. La Forge: That is correct, Captain. Warf: Captain, without ISDN, we will be unable to outrun the Borg. Picard: Understood, Mr. Warf. Data, review recent communications with Starfleet to see what they say about Borg activity in this area. Data: I am unable to do so, sir. Call logging is not implemented in our current operational code. Picard: Why not? Data: Call logging is only available in the incremental series of operational code. We are currently running the patch series. Picard: Then why aren't we running an incremental? Riker: I can answer that, sir. The latest, and most stable version of the Flex Drive in only availble in the incrementals. The only version of the Flex Drive available in the patch is an early beta version. Picard: Mr. La Forge, when can we expect to have reliable ISDN and call logging? La Forge: I don't know, sir. They will both be available in the next incremental along with a more stable Flex Drive, but Starfleet hasn't given a reliable estimated time for availability. Data: We are nearly within the Borg's weapons range. Warf: They are charging their primary weapons. Picard: Well then, what do we have available to us? Riker: The Flex Drive, sir. Picard: But we all know that the Borg are able to disrupt the Flex Drive. We cannot flee. We must stand and fight. Warf: They are in weapons range and preparing to fire. Riker: Re-route all available power to shields. Warf: Systems are not responding. Data: I am not able to get a response either. La Forge: Captain! OSPF was not able to handle the routing of power. It caused a memory overflow which triggered a system wide reboot. We will be without offensive and defensive capabilities for the next 90 seconds. Warf: Today is a good day to die. Picard: Mr. Data, set a probe to launch the instant we are destroyed with a message detailing our situation. If Starfleet finds it, perhaps our deaths will not be in vain. Warf: They are firing! Picard: All decks, brace for impa.................. ------------------------------------------------------ | Lee Nelson | | lnelson@e-z.net | | <A HREF="http://www.e-z.net/~lnelson">http://www.e-z.net/~lnelson</A> | |----------------------------------------------------| | System Administrator, E-Z.Net Inc. | | (360)260-1122 | | 209 NE 120th Ave. Suite B | | Vancouver, WA 98684 | ------------------------------------------------------ ++ Ascend Users Mailing List ++ To unsubscribe: send unsubscribe to ascend-users-request@bungi.com To get FAQ'd: <<A HREF="http://www.nealis.net/ascend/faq">http://www.nealis.net/ascend/faq</A>> </PRE> <!--X-MsgBody-End--> <!--X-Follow-Ups--> <HR> <STRONG>Follow-Ups</STRONG>: <UL> <LI><STRONG><A HREF="msg09892.html">(ASCEND) Re: your mail</A></STRONG></LI> <UL> <LI><EM>From</EM>: Jason Nealis <nealis@babylon.erols.com></LI> </UL> <LI><STRONG><A HREF="msg09862.html">(ASCEND) Re: your mail</A></STRONG></LI> <UL> <LI><EM>From</EM>: Steve Camas <stevec@liii.com></LI> </UL> </UL> <!--X-Follow-Ups-End--> <!--X-References--> <!--X-References-End--> <!--X-BotPNI--> <HR> <UL> <LI>Prev by Date: <STRONG><A HREF="msg09849.html">Re: (ASCEND) Ideas: Next Release Ap28 or Ap29</A></STRONG> </LI> <LI>Next by Date: <STRONG><A HREF="msg09846.html">(ASCEND) Modem Connection</A></STRONG> </LI> <LI>Prev by thread: <STRONG><A HREF="msg18795.html">Re: (ASCEND) Re: your mail</A></STRONG> </LI> <LI>Next by thread: <STRONG><A HREF="msg09862.html">(ASCEND) Re: your mail</A></STRONG> </LI> <LI>Index(es): <UL> <LI><A HREF="mail358.html#09851"><STRONG>Main</STRONG></A></LI> <LI><A HREF="thrd36.html#09851"><STRONG>Thread</STRONG></A></LI> </UL> </LI> </UL> <!--X-BotPNI-End--> <!--X-User-Footer--> <!--X-User-Footer-End--> </BODY> </HTML>