HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Now that one is a classic. I should add it to the FAQ :) Jason Nealis <---(currently being defeated by the borg) On Mon, 20 Oct 1997 systems@e-z.net wrote: > > After a miserable week of holding our ISP together through wishful > thinking and lots of caffine, I thought that I would try to dramatize what > it's like to be riding the bleeding edge of technology. Maybe during my > most bitter moments, I was hoping that those from Ascend who promise fixes > "really soon" will realize that "tomorrow" is as good as never to those of > us on the front lines. > > Data: Captain, I am detecting a Borg cube on long range scanners. > Picard: Red Alert! Bridge to Engineering... > La Forge: La Forge here. > Picard: Do we have operational ISDN yet? > La Forge: Yes, sir, it is operational, but I estimate a 5% > chance that ISDN will be rejected when we try to implement > it. > Picard: What do you mean? > La Forge: There seems to be a bug in our current operational > code that causes compelete rejection of ISDN at random > intervals for random lengths of time. > Picard: Do you mean to tell me that I can not rely upon ISDN. > La Forge: That is correct, Captain. > Warf: Captain, without ISDN, we will be unable to outrun the > Borg. > Picard: Understood, Mr. Warf. Data, review recent > communications with Starfleet to see what they say > about Borg activity in this area. > Data: I am unable to do so, sir. Call logging is not > implemented in our current operational code. > Picard: Why not? > Data: Call logging is only available in the incremental > series of operational code. We are currently running > the patch series. > Picard: Then why aren't we running an incremental? > Riker: I can answer that, sir. The latest, and most stable > version of the Flex Drive in only availble in the > incrementals. The only version of the Flex Drive > available in the patch is an early beta version. > Picard: Mr. La Forge, when can we expect to have reliable ISDN > and call logging? > La Forge: I don't know, sir. They will both be available in the > next incremental along with a more stable Flex Drive, but > Starfleet hasn't given a reliable estimated time for > availability. > Data: We are nearly within the Borg's weapons range. > Warf: They are charging their primary weapons. > Picard: Well then, what do we have available to us? > Riker: The Flex Drive, sir. > Picard: But we all know that the Borg are able to disrupt the > Flex Drive. We cannot flee. We must stand and fight. > Warf: They are in weapons range and preparing to fire. > Riker: Re-route all available power to shields. > Warf: Systems are not responding. > Data: I am not able to get a response either. > La Forge: Captain! OSPF was not able to handle the routing of > power. It caused a memory overflow which triggered > a system wide reboot. We will be without offensive > and defensive capabilities for the next 90 seconds. > Warf: Today is a good day to die. > Picard: Mr. Data, set a probe to launch the instant we are > destroyed with a message detailing our situation. > If Starfleet finds it, perhaps our deaths will not > be in vain. > Warf: They are firing! > Picard: All decks, brace for impa.................. > > > > ------------------------------------------------------ > | Lee Nelson | > | lnelson@e-z.net | > | <A HREF="http://www.e-z.net/~lnelson">http://www.e-z.net/~lnelson</A> | > |----------------------------------------------------| > | System Administrator, E-Z.Net Inc. | > | (360)260-1122 | > | 209 NE 120th Ave. Suite B | > | Vancouver, WA 98684 | > ------------------------------------------------------ > > ++ Ascend Users Mailing List ++ > To unsubscribe: send unsubscribe to ascend-users-request@bungi.com > To get FAQ'd: <<A HREF="http://www.nealis.net/ascend/faq">http://www.nealis.net/ascend/faq</A>> > ++ Ascend Users Mailing List ++ To unsubscribe: send unsubscribe to ascend-users-request@bungi.com To get FAQ'd: <<A HREF="http://www.nealis.net/ascend/faq">http://www.nealis.net/ascend/faq</A>> </PRE> <!--X-MsgBody-End--> <!--X-Follow-Ups--> <!--X-Follow-Ups-End--> <!--X-References--> <HR> <STRONG>References</STRONG>: <UL> <LI><STRONG><A HREF="msg09851.html">No Subject</A></STRONG></LI> <UL> <LI><EM>From</EM>: systems@e-z.net</LI> </UL> </UL> <!--X-References-End--> <!--X-BotPNI--> <HR> <UL> <LI>Prev by Date: <STRONG><A HREF="msg09895.html">Re: (ASCEND) Re: sigh (bitching)</A></STRONG> </LI> <LI>Next by Date: <STRONG><A HREF="msg09891.html">Re: (ASCEND) secure access firewall performance on pipe50</A></STRONG> </LI> <LI>Prev by thread: <STRONG><A HREF="msg09862.html">(ASCEND) Re: your mail</A></STRONG> </LI> <LI>Next by thread: <STRONG><A HREF="msg10059.html">No Subject</A></STRONG> </LI> <LI>Index(es): <UL> <LI><A HREF="mail7.html#09892"><STRONG>Main</STRONG></A></LI> <LI><A HREF="thrd35.html#09892"><STRONG>Thread</STRONG></A></LI> </UL> </LI> </UL> <!--X-BotPNI-End--> <!--X-User-Footer--> <!--X-User-Footer-End--> </BODY> </HTML>