Ascend Archive
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(ASCEND) Re: your mail
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Now that one is a classic.
I should add it to the FAQ :)
Jason Nealis <---(currently being defeated by the borg)
On Mon, 20 Oct 1997 systems@e-z.net wrote:
>
> After a miserable week of holding our ISP together through wishful
> thinking and lots of caffine, I thought that I would try to dramatize what
> it's like to be riding the bleeding edge of technology. Maybe during my
> most bitter moments, I was hoping that those from Ascend who promise fixes
> "really soon" will realize that "tomorrow" is as good as never to those of
> us on the front lines.
>
> Data: Captain, I am detecting a Borg cube on long range scanners.
> Picard: Red Alert! Bridge to Engineering...
> La Forge: La Forge here.
> Picard: Do we have operational ISDN yet?
> La Forge: Yes, sir, it is operational, but I estimate a 5%
> chance that ISDN will be rejected when we try to implement
> it.
> Picard: What do you mean?
> La Forge: There seems to be a bug in our current operational
> code that causes compelete rejection of ISDN at random
> intervals for random lengths of time.
> Picard: Do you mean to tell me that I can not rely upon ISDN.
> La Forge: That is correct, Captain.
> Warf: Captain, without ISDN, we will be unable to outrun the
> Borg.
> Picard: Understood, Mr. Warf. Data, review recent
> communications with Starfleet to see what they say
> about Borg activity in this area.
> Data: I am unable to do so, sir. Call logging is not
> implemented in our current operational code.
> Picard: Why not?
> Data: Call logging is only available in the incremental
> series of operational code. We are currently running
> the patch series.
> Picard: Then why aren't we running an incremental?
> Riker: I can answer that, sir. The latest, and most stable
> version of the Flex Drive in only availble in the
> incrementals. The only version of the Flex Drive
> available in the patch is an early beta version.
> Picard: Mr. La Forge, when can we expect to have reliable ISDN
> and call logging?
> La Forge: I don't know, sir. They will both be available in the
> next incremental along with a more stable Flex Drive, but
> Starfleet hasn't given a reliable estimated time for
> availability.
> Data: We are nearly within the Borg's weapons range.
> Warf: They are charging their primary weapons.
> Picard: Well then, what do we have available to us?
> Riker: The Flex Drive, sir.
> Picard: But we all know that the Borg are able to disrupt the
> Flex Drive. We cannot flee. We must stand and fight.
> Warf: They are in weapons range and preparing to fire.
> Riker: Re-route all available power to shields.
> Warf: Systems are not responding.
> Data: I am not able to get a response either.
> La Forge: Captain! OSPF was not able to handle the routing of
> power. It caused a memory overflow which triggered
> a system wide reboot. We will be without offensive
> and defensive capabilities for the next 90 seconds.
> Warf: Today is a good day to die.
> Picard: Mr. Data, set a probe to launch the instant we are
> destroyed with a message detailing our situation.
> If Starfleet finds it, perhaps our deaths will not
> be in vain.
> Warf: They are firing!
> Picard: All decks, brace for impa..................
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------
> | Lee Nelson |
> | lnelson@e-z.net |
> | http://www.e-z.net/~lnelson |
> |----------------------------------------------------|
> | System Administrator, E-Z.Net Inc. |
> | (360)260-1122 |
> | 209 NE 120th Ave. Suite B |
> | Vancouver, WA 98684 |
> ------------------------------------------------------
>
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>
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